


Reflections

by crystalfox



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 12:58:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13077372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalfox/pseuds/crystalfox
Summary: Amilyn Holdo reflects. Spoilers for The Last Jedi.





	Reflections

Holdo sat silently at the ship’s controls. Alone in the control room, she ran her fingers through her hair and sighed heavily. There wasn’t much time left and she felt keenly aware of the passing of each second. Straight ahead was the daunting sight of the First Order, their mighty ships engulfing the space in front. Behind her ship, the remaining members of the Resistance were hurriedly flying to what they hoped was safety. She knew what she had to do, it was simple.

There had always been a tiny thought, at the back of her mind, buried deep so she didn’t think about it often, that she might not live to see peace or stability in the galaxy. Amilyn had always been a realist, trying hard to keep in mind the realities of war, so she had been aware that this moment might come. It was still a shock though, to realise she was doing this, that her time had finally arrived. She did not want to go, she wanted to carry on fighting, to keep resisting and rebelling until the First Order was nothing but a memory. Suddenly, a strong wave of sadness washed over her - the lost family and friends, the missed chances, the devastation, the tragedy. Sometimes, everything could feel so hopeless. She allowed herself to feel the sadness, but then she drew upon her strong sense of resolve, the resolve that had helped her rise to Vice Admiral. She knew that what was about to happen next was vital to buy the rest of the Resistance time to evacuate. And hopefully, give the First Order a good, strong hit while she was at it. Amilyn never had a flair for dramatic heroics but even she could admit that, occasionally, it was worth it to make a statement.

This would be worth it, it was important, and it was the right thing to do. No-one ever said that war was easy or that everyone escaped unharmed. This is what Amilyn signed up for - it was not just a job, it was her life, her beliefs. Rebel, resist, fight - it was a mantra she repeated to herself when things got dangerous in order to centre herself. It focused her mind and helped her to think clearly in times of chaos. It had served her well during difficult battles, reminded her to think of the bigger picture and not allow her emotions to cloud her judgement. She had learned that in order to win against an evil like the First Order, you had to think tactically and understand that fighting and rebelling and resisting was not always an actual battle - sometimes it was knowing when retreat or regroup. 

Again, she focused on the First Order ships in front of her, full of people willing to bring a swathe of destruction to the galaxy. It was time. She took another deep breath, savouring the feeling of the air filling her lungs, and found that any lingering sense of dread had vanished, she was calm and focused. 

_Rebel, resist, fight._

Amilyn looked down at the ship’s controls, she firmly pressed various buttons to start the jump to lightspeed.

_Rebel, resist, fight._

The silence was broken by the low hum as the engines started up. 

_Rebel, resist, fight._

She tensed, gritting her teeth.

_Rebel, resist, fight._

She was ready. They would not be.

There was a bright flash of light and then silence. 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m new to writing. Feedback/comments/constructive criticism welcome!


End file.
